Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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