Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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