Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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