She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
