You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
