what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
