idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
