Kareoke will never be a sober sport
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
