it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
