if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
