I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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