You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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