Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
