GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
