Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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