I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
