If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just had sex on a roof
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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