And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You are the jesus of drinking
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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