My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
