lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
