I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
