im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
