I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
