Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
