i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
