I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
