If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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