we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
