there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm getting married
To pizza
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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