she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
