So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
