I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
