we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
