It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
