About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize