I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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