you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
