Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
