She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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