I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
