# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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