He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
