In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
