dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the day after is always just damage control
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
