I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
