I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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