yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
