R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
