So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
