In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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