Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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