You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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