So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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