I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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