dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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