5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
