okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
