I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
