hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
