So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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